Lunchtime Stories #3: Empty Net
Posted: March 25th, 2009 | Author: Rodrigo | Filed under: Lunchtime Stories | 22 Comments »
My dad bought me my first hockey stick when I was five. I can still remember the rows and rows of neatly lined-up sticks at Woolco in the Dufferin Mall—it was the largest selection of a single product I had ever seen. Up until that day, every hockey stick I had ever played with was made out of plastic, and plastic sticks came in two options: blue and red. But these sticks were wood, they had slick logos and splendid grains of all hues. I settled on a Sher-Wood stick. It was a brand I’d seen a lot of other kids playing with, and more importantly it had a hockey player’s signature on it (Charbonneau, Devereux? Definitely an “oh” sound at the end). The signature was essential; it elevated my stick from mere implement to mighty totem. The car ride home was filled with visions of the brilliance I was going to unleash on the streets with my new stick. But when we got home, I realized there were some problems.
I’m left-handed. My stick was made for right-handers. That this dichotomy existed had never occurred to me because I was five. That it never occurred to my father was because he grew up in Chile and knew nothing about hockey.¹ Also, at five, I was probably just over three feet tall. My stick was about four and half feet tall. The stick’s size was fixable with a saw, my left-handedness was not. Still, with time, me and my stick got along fine. I embraced my oppositional blade and became a back-hand specialist.²
Then one day I noticed a new trend: black rubber stoppers on the ends of everyone’s sticks. Ostensibly, they were meant to keep your top hand from sliding off the end of the stick. It wasn’t a problem I ever remember having. But from the moment I saw those caps, I knew it was a problem I was going to have if I didn’t get a little rubber stopper on my stick.
At dinner, I told my father about my dire need for a rubber stopper and the terrible effects on my game, confidence and posture that its negation would have. He looked at me, with what I remember as sincere empathy, “Rodri, no hay plata.”
“No hay plata,” doesn’t mean, “there’s no money for that.” It means, “there’s no money.” It meant buying a rubber stopper was taking food out of the pantry. It was the one argument with no rebuttal.
The next day I went to the porch and grabbed my stick. At the end of it was a piece of white rubber. I looked at it closer. It was the shoe of one of my sister’s old dolls. My father had attached it with electrical tape.
I dropped the stick, ran inside, hugged my father and started to cry.
That was the day I knew my father loved me.
That was also the day I knew I’d have to figure out how to be a Canadian on my own.
1. This would set the pattern for subsequent sports purchases. My first baseball glove was for right-handers, and I didn’t know brand-new hockey skates needed sharpening until I was in my twenties. I was, predictably, a poor skater.
2. Actually, I would go out of my way to make back-hand shots, spinning into position at the most inopportune moments and practically playing backwards all the time.
Great story. Backhanders are the best.
ZING! ZING!
Yo buns. This story’s got Zing appeal. It inspired me. Look for my newest single, “Backhander Hoes” dropping May 10.
ZING! ZING!
Stop making me cry.
I used to use a right-handed glove too. I’d catch the ball, whip off the glove and then throw it. Not very efficient, I have to say.
I just got off the phone with Roch Carrier. He’s mailing you his hockey sweater. You win.
I wiki’d Roch Carrier and then I was like, “Damn, this comment rocks.”
such a sweet story!
This story is better than the hijacked spaghetti sauce you made me the other nice. No really, this brought a smile to my face. Keep the lunchtime stories coming!
You made me cry….again; but I love the story.
that stick would have been great if you played in your hallway by yourself having to play goalie and forward at the same time. thats how i learned how to be canadian.
Forgot about the trips to Woolco at Dufferin Mall…by the way, it’s just “Dufferin Mall” not “the Dufferin Mall”.
I don’t even remember having a fully wooden stick, just a wooden shaft with a ridiculously curved plastic blade. I guess I broke the wooden blade too fast.
Rodri…so eloquently written, yet so simple an idea. I enjoyed reading this tremendously, though I have heard the story before. You bring something wonderful and fresh to the written word.
That’s a great story, man. Pato up in this biiatch.
I was a short backhander myself, except that I never cut my stick; I would tuck it under my armpit instead, and spin around with the extra two feet sticking out well above my head. Now that’s how you create some space.
I never new you wrote these lunch time specials. Hey u are going in to my favs. Love the idea . thanks for a great read!
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My dad bought me my first hockey stick when I was five…..
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